are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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