Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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