Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize