I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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