We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
