chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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