I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
