Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
