Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize