he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize