I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
