I'm lost and stupid without you.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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