I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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