I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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