from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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