If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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