Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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