she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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