my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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