My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
