So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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