I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
In America we eat man semen.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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