How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
