Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My life is pants optional.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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