i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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