then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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