He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
