omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
