Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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