If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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