Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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