Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
