Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
