I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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