Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I need to align my fucking chakras
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
