He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
