I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
