Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
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And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
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Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
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