Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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