Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
