Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She's JV to your varsity
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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