atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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