Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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