he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
