No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
