you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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