Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize