I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower