you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
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Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
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Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"