Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.