2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
