Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
