Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
