I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
