so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
