I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
