Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You can't motorboat a personality
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
