I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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