If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know