I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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