My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
what day is it and did you see me today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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